Difficult Choices
by thisEternalLove
Summary: "I thought.. I had to make a choice.. I can choose to tell you, and we can live happily ever after or.. I can do what's best for you and leave.. I didn't leave because I'm a coward, I left because I wanted you to follow your dreams."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sadly.. I own nothing... you know, apart from my oh-so-amazing original characters. **

**~ Difficult Choices ~ **

Hermione stared at the red head in front of her, tears running down her face as he looked at her in disgust, "I had no choice.." She whispered to him, shaking her head. She had never wanted this conversation, she had always hoped this day would never come but she was in too deep, and she needed his help. "I thought... I had to choose, Ronald.. I had to make a choice.." She couldn't look at him, the anger in his eyes breaking her heart even more so than it already was.

"Everyone has a choice.." He whispered angrily in her ear, pressing his wand even deeper into her neck as she sobbed his name. She had never expected him to wait for her, and welcome her back with open arms, but she had never thought Ron would turn his wand on her. "Ron.. .please.." She whispered hoarsely, closing her eyes tight to stop the tears.

She didn't want to be weak, especially not in front of him but, in some way, he was the only person she could be weak in front of. Her body shook, looking at the man in front of her, silently begging him to not be mad at her, as she wished she had never come to him. His hand shook as he looked into her eyes, slowly releasing her, not moving or saying anything as she gasped for air, coughing.

The shocked faces of the people she used to consider family had circled around them, she could feel the hate from them all, and decided this was the reason they didn't help her. _They hate me that much. _The thought hurt, as she bit down on her lip and rubbed her neck, "Give me a chance to explain.. please.." She whispered, looking down at the ground, closing her eyes as the world around her begun to spin. "Please.. give me a chance." She could feel the floor getting closer, her knees buckling beneath her before a strong pair of arms held her close to a warm body. And then everything went black, and she was left alone once more.

_She looked down at a sleeping Ron, kissing his forehead before dropping the note to the vacant spot beside him and walking out of the bedroom silently. Tears ran down her face, as she walked down the stairs of the Burrow for the last time, whispering a goodbye before walking outside and apparating the moment she could. _

_The tears poured down her face when she got to the apartment she had bought, muttering the necessary protection charms before sitting down. She rested her hand on her stomach, "I am so sorry.." She whispered, sobbing. "I am so, so, so sorry." _

_The first night was the hardest, she was haunted by images of Ron, but they became lesser over the years. She could imagine Ron finding the note, she could imagine the amount of hate he must have for her right now. _

Ron watched over her, slowly feeling the anger leave, replaced by the sadness. He had missed out on so much, they could have had what Harry and Ginny had, he always wanted that but only with Hermione; he could never imagine himself with anyone else. He played with the ends of her hair, staring down at her as he tried to determine just how much she had changed in the past four years.

He noticed the dark circles under her eyes, the way her skin seemed to have aged beyond her twenty two years. He had noticed the way her hair was scruffily, and quickly put back into a bun, and the loose strands that his anger had stopped him from brushing from her pale face. His fingers brushed past her protruding cheekbones, and he wondered how she had gotten so thin in the first place. She was not like his perfect Hermione, she was different – tired, stressed, scared.

He had seen the fear in her eyes, his wand held to her neck but it was something more than that, he had noticed it even before, a permanent look of fear. It was the way she kept looking behind her, as though somebody was following her, and the way her hands shook. For a second, he had wondered what was wrong with her, if she was okay. And for that one moment, he had wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, breathing in her scent, burying his face in her hair as he whispered about how much he had missed her. But he couldn't, he remembered how she had left him, and the pain took over, quickly turning into anger.

And then she had fallen unconscious, and he finally got to hold her in his arms after four years of hell. He hadn't want to put her down, but his mum had insisted on checking over the girl before putting her in his bed. He had laughed bitterly, the memory of this being the last place he had seen her, he had held her in his arms in this very bed, he had made love to her for the last time. She had **left **him, sleeping, alone in this bed... and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive her.

But here she was. She was back, and he had no idea what to do. The note she had left him burned in his mind, he could remember spending days clutching at it, reading the few words over and over again. Harry tried to tell him that Hermione would be back, but they both knew that once she made up her mind, she would never turn back. She wasn't like Ron, she didn't lose her temper and then leave, only to decide to come back. She was stubborn, and strong, and he knew how much of a big decision it must have been for her.

He had blamed himself, she had left him because of him. He had tried to read between the words, trying to see the reason why she left. He had tried looking for her, but she had cleared everything. Nobody knew where she had gone, she had told no one and there was no trail. It was the first time that he wished she wasn't so good at magic, because he knew if this was the other way around, she'd find him in an instant.

And now here he was, almost four years after she left, watching her sleep in that very bed. He wanted to reverse time, he wanted to wake up before she left and beg her not to leave him. He wanted to tell her about his dreams, and now they all involved her and nobody, and nothing else. He had thought she understood that, she was the centre of his world. There was nothing without her.

Hermione woke up, looking at the man by her bedside. "How long have I been out?" She whispered, scared of the answer, "Two days.. you were exhausted." He jumped back, when she shot up, wide eyed as her heart felt like it was going to thump right out of her chest. She had to get away, she had to get out.

"I-I.. my babies.. I.." She took a deep breath, "Oh Merlin.. two days.." Hermione could feel herself close to tears, putting her hand on her chest. She didn't care that she had just told Ron about her children, she didn't care about anything other than getting home to them.

"Where are they?" He was in shock, but he thought about how Harry would feel if James had been left alone for two days, or even with strangers. He could see the woman before him starting to panic, holding her chest as she clutched to the air so she could focus her mind for just a second.

"W-with.. a muggle babysitter.. I had.. I thought I'd only be a few hours. What if she's left them alone.. what if she's got the police involved?" She pushed past him suddenly, running downstairs, ignoring the calls of Mrs and Mr Weasley behind her, not noticing Ron following her. She got past the boundaries, apparating quickly, not noticing Ron holding onto her arm until it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

Her heart was beating fast as she ran inside her home, looking around, tears already falling down her face as the panic rose quickly. She was convinced they had been taken away from her, what kind of mother leaves her children alone with a babysitter for two days? Especially when it was only supposed to be for a few hours.

She couldn't breathe, running upstairs as she called for her two young children. She wondered what happened, how long the young girl had taken to call the police, and how long it had taken them to take away her two babies. She knew she wouldn't get them back, a good mother does not just leave her children. She couldn't explain to them about how she had collapsed for two days, and how the people she was with had no clue she had children and therefore didn't awaken her from her slumber.

She cried, not even realizing Ron was downstairs, staring at the photographs of Hermione, and two young children. He stared at their piercing blue eyes, as he nervously bit down on his lip, his eyes not tearing themselves away from the unmistakable bright red hair. Those were _his _children, and it was _his _fault they had grown up for their short lives so far, without a father.

Hermione walked past him, wiping her eyes, still not noticing him. She ran to the door when it knocked, and Ron could hear soft murmuring, and a cry from Hermione. He was tempted to go to see what the bother was, but decided against it, instead choosing to wait for her to notice him. He could hear her repeat 'thank you' over and over again, and then she came back in, gently shutting the door behind her.

He saw the flashes of red before he saw the children, both of them buried in their mother's hair as she held onto both of them as tight as she could, crying softly. She kissed both of their heads, fussing over them, making sure everything was alright, and they were just as she left them. Ron smiled at the scene in front of him, reminding him of his own childhood in which something would happen, his mum would fuss and he would stand there, completely unphased by what he saw as an over-reaction.

"Mummy, who is that man?" One of the little girls pointed at him, Hermione's face visibly paling even more. She stammered over her words, fighting between the urge to speak to her previous lover alone, and never wanting to let her daughters go again.

She finally found her voice, clearing her throat before speaking, "Y-you, uh.. Rosie, Poppy.. can you both go get ready for bed? Mummy will be up in a second." She bit her lip, watching them toddle upstairs, instantly feeling the need to hold them in her arms again. The witch quickly turned back to the red-headed man, glaring at him, "How dare you follow me?" She kept her voice down, not wanting to upset the two girls she knew were probably listening at the top of the stairs.

Ron ran his fingers through his hair, trying to remember where his wand was if things got out of hand. He knew about Hermione's temper, and he knew how angry she would get with people – especially him. He shrugged and looked around, "Nice place you got here."

"Don't you dare change the subject, Ronald Weasley. I asked you a question." Her face flushed with anger, reaching for a wand she never had as if by impulse. She watched him as he shook his head, taking a small step back as he reached for his own wand. It was an unfair battle, and both of them knew this.

"I couldn't just lose you again, Hermione, I know I reacted badly before but.. you broke my heart when you left, without any goodbye or explanation. It broke my heart, Hermione, you have to understand that.. and now.. to see you with.. _my _children, and knowing I've missed out on their lives for four years.. I've lost you... for four whole years.. and I think I have a right to know why." He took a deep breath, looking the woman up and down as she nodded slightly.

Hermione slid down onto the sofa behind her, closing her eyes as tears fell down her pale face. She couldn't believe this was happening, she knew he had to find out someday, especially when the twins were eleven years old and went to Hogwarts.. she knew somebody had to find out, and that Ron would eventually discover the news. She had wanted to avoid this, she had spent four years avoiding this very moment, and now she had to confront it head on.

"I-I.. like I told you before.. I had no choice.. I wanted, I wanted things to be different.." She sighed, hiding her face in her hands as she sobbed lightly, "I wanted you to live your dreams, I had to make a choice, Ron.. I could have chose to tell you, and then we would live happily ever after or.. I could do the decent thing, and leave.. I knew in the long run it would be better for you. I knew it would be hard for me, but you... you had dreams, and I didn't want to ruin that for you." Her voice shook as she tried to hold in the tears,

"Don't you see Ronald? I left not because I was a coward, or because I didn't love you, I left because I loved you too much to let you give up all your dreams for me. I knew you would, you always said how you would have to leave to do your training, and I knew you wouldn't if there were children on the way. You'd insist on marriage, and having our own place, and I knew that you'd end up doing something you never wanted. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to you, I wouldn't be able to cope with all the guilt." She looked up at him, biting her lip, playing with her hands, before carrying on.

"I was right.. you're happy now.. you have a top job as an Auror.. and you're happy because you're doing something _you _always wanted to do, Ron.. and it's so hard sometimes, being a single mum to two twin girls but then I remember that you are happy because of what I did and suddenly, it all seems worth it." She hid her face in her hands again, crying softly, she wanted to tell him she was happy too, but she couldn't. Her little girls made her happy, but once upon a time, she had different dreams from this.

"Y-you had dreams too, Hermione.." He whispered, moving over to sit next to her, hesitating before wrapping his arms around her. He knew she was right, he knew he would never have been happy if he hadn't been able to live his dreams of being an Auror. But now he had been there and done that, and he still wasn't happy, and he had come to realize that he would be just as happy working in the ministry, as long as he had her and a family to call his own.

He held her close to him, holding her as she cried into his chest, and he couldn't help but feel as though this was the first time she had anyone comfort her properly in years. He closed his eyes, thinking about this family he could have had – he and Hermione would be married by now, they'd probably have another child on the way and he'd be working with his father; probably a boring, unstimulating job. He knew she was right, he knew how much he would regret not living his dreams. But he had lived it now, and he wanted something else, something better.

He smiled at the two toddler girls as they quietly crept down the stairs, watching their mummy cry. He watched them with curiosity, and a swell of pride as they came up to them and nestled themselves next to the two adults, cuddling into Hermione. He watched them as the three girls wordlessly wrapped their arms around each other, comforting each other in their silence.

Ron couldn't believe he had a family for four years, a family he didn't know about. He expected to be angry, but Hermione's speech had broken his heart, he couldn't believe she had to forget her own dreams, and live as a single mum out of wedlock for so long now. He sighed, playing with her hair as she held her two small daughters so close to her. He realized either way she would have lost out, it was to be a single mum or to live as a Weasley, without seeing her husband and the father of her children for months, even years on end.

"Mummy?" Hermione nodded, looking down at Rosie, playing with her long, ginger hair softly. "Is he our daddy?" The little girl whispered, unsure of herself as she looked between him and her mummy, Hermione hesitated, not sure what to say or do as Ron nodded,

"Yes, yes I am.." He bit down on his lip, looking at the twins, trying to find the differences in them so he could tell them apart in the future. He smiled at the way they looked from their mummy, to each other and then back at him, nodding their heads in understanding.

"It's very nice to meet you, daddy." They said, in unison as they hugged him too. Ron wrapped his arms around his girls, smiling at the slight smile on Hermione's face as she watched; she had never lied to her children, she had never told them their father was gone, or was dead. They were intelligent, very much like her, and she had told them about how it was best if their daddy was allowed to live his dreams, just like he would want them to when they were older. She watched as they both fell asleep in his arms, slowly realizing that this was _her _dream. It never had been, not in the beginning, she had dreamt of working in the ministry, helping those who needed it.. but instead, somewhere along the way, she fell in love with being a mum and she fell in love with Ron. Somewhere along the way, she wanted a family over a career, something she never thought she was capable of accepting.

She found she loathed young girls who chose marriage and children over education, and a life of their own, but here she was doing exactly that.

Ron held the two girls in his arms, motioning with his head for Hermione to follow him as he carried them upstairs. She watched as he put them in their beds, tucking them both in before shutting their door and moving to her. "We should sleep.." He whispered, holding her close to him as she nodded.

"I am so sorry.." She whispered, her lips finding his as she sought all the love and passion she had been missing for so long now. Ron understood, kissing her back before pulling away, to pick her up.

"I am too.. I was angry at you for leaving, but I understand.. I just, I want you to know that.. people change, and dreams change and I want to be a part of yours, Rosie's and Poppy's life.. if you'll all have me." He bit down on his lip, laying her down on her bed as she nodded softly,

"There is nothing I could want more.." She smiled a little, closing her eyes, "L-lay with me.. please, please don't leave me." Ron visibly flinched at the weakness in her voice, before getting into the bed next to her and wrapping his arms tight around the girl he had never stopped loving.

"I am never going to let you go again, Hermione Jean Granger, I am never going to lose you.. not again."


End file.
